Old School Blogging

Me, aged 43 and a bit

 

If a blogging genius like Nickie is heading back to old school blogging, then why shouldn’t I have a go?!

It has been a very long time since I answered something like this, maybe the answers will have changed from what you expect as I have aged somewhat, like the fine wine that I am. I think I may have dropped an ‘o’ there…

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

I’m a rather emotional sort when I am on my own, I’ll cry at any vaguely sad moment in a film, however, in real life I’m as stoic as the next man. Real tragedies on the news? Not even a whisper of dampness in my eyes. Death in the family? Nope, an arid desert of Saharan proportions. Robin Williams gets some students to stand on their desk and proclaim “O Captain My Captain!” Blubbering wreck of a fool!

IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE A FRIEND OF YOURSELF?

Difficult one, as I’m a rather difficult person. Some of my friends think I’m somewhat on the Autistic Spectrum and to be fair, I do score rather highly on those online tests. I think I’m easy-going, sarcastic and loyal, however I also like to moan and have a tendency to see the worst in things. I also take great glee in pointing out other peoples failings or mistakes. A typical cunt of a person really.

In saying all of that, the friends I do make are usually friends for life. If I can, I will go out of my way to help them and be there at any time of the day for whatever reason. I’m the type who would stand between a friend and a punch in the face.

DO YOU USE SARCASM

Only if you ask a stupid question…

WHAT’S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

Boobs and eyes usually. I’m not materialistic enough to care about their clothing, I never notice if they are wearing wedding rings etc. I believe that people are not the book cover that they portray, underneath the outward presentation lies the truth.

SCARY MOVIE OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

I like both, I’m a film buff.

FAVOURITE SMELLS?

Bread baking, freshly cut grass, that ozone smell during a lightning storm.

WHAT’S THE FURTHEST YOU’VE EVER BEEN FROM HOME?

I had to work this out using Google Maps. Apparently its Rome at 1,265 miles. I’ve only ever travelled by sea/land through Europe, never had the opportunity to fly anywhere, not that I don’t want to but because I currently can’t afford it, but when I could afford it, I never had the spare time.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL TALENTS?

Is wanking and operating a mouse at the same time a talent? I used to draw and paint rather well in my youth, sort of fell out of doing it though. I can turn my hand to most things if I put my mind to it, maybe this is my spectrum self coming out. If I decide I want to be good at something, I will obsessively make myself good at it until I am one of the foremost experts on the subject.

WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GREW UP?

A spaceman! I really had dreams of being an astronaut, flying into the sky in the Shuttle, meeting aliens. I then fancied being an architect, but ended following art and animation through college, then fell into the world of work, which crushed all of my hopes and dreams!

HOW MANY COUNTRIES HAVE YOU BEEN TO?

I think it’s twelve, most of which I visited when I EuroRail’ed when I was 17.

WHAT WAS YOUR FAVOURITE / WORST SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?

I loved Art, mainly because I fancied my art teacher and because I could draw. I hated P.E. After a while of struggling at various sports I decided that I’d not bother turning up to his lessons and go to Art instead. Nobody said anything, so I just did my own thing.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE DRINK?

Lilt, I love that totally tropical taste! Otherwise you can normally catch me drinking black coffee, tea with one sugar and milk or alcohol. Booze-wise, I like Guinness, Red Wine or Pear Cider. Stay away from me if I have a Pear Cider though, it gives me the windy farts. I’m not too fussy on my booze though, if it’s wet, I will generally drink it.

WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE NAMED YOUR CHILDREN?

No idea, I have never wanted any. If by some miracle that someone wanted me to sire some offspring, they’d probably end up with a nerd name from obscure sci-fi book or something.

WHO ARE SOME OF YOUR FAVOURITE YOUTUBERS?

I have a secret. I have a fetish for watching people eat food. I love to watch Mukbang‘ers, I particularly love to watch Peggie Neo, she’s cool and funny and very artistic, plus for such a slight woman, she can’t half eat a fuckton of food!  I also like to watch travel eaters, the likes of Mikey Chen, Mark Wiens and Trevor James. I do occasionally watch competitive eaters, like Britain’s own Adam of BeardMeatsFood.

Other channels I like, Today I Found Out, The Scott Rea Project and Primitive Technology.

HOW MANY BOYFRIENDS HAVE YOU HAD?

Hand on heart, I have never had a boyfriend. Girlfriends? Or should that be Womanfriends in case I insult some snowflake feminist somewhere… So, let’s think… I will not count the one night stands, of those there have been more than a handful. :/ Let’s start with a relationship that has lasted more than a month, about 15 or so. Relationships over a year, let’s say 5. Lived with, sort of 4’ish. I think I have answered this as truthfully as I can, I may have inadvertently blocked some horrific memories.

Re-reading this part makes me sound like a slut, bear in mind I’m 43, not 20, so more time, more relationships, blah blah…

FAVOURITE MEMORY FROM CHILDHOOD?

I don’t have any specific memories that I always look back to, but I did enjoy spending time in the local woods building camps and such with the Harris lads and other friends.

TELL US ONE OF YOUR BAD HABITS…

I’m chronically lazy. If I have nothing to do, I’d be quite happy to sit and stare at a wall or fall asleep. Like the comedian Sean Lock said in one of his routines, he’s never happier than when he’s sat on the side of his bed, with one foot halfway into a new sock. Sometimes he can sit there for hours, with his sock. Likewise, without someone spurring me on, I’d quite happily sit there too. Bonus bad habit? I probably drink too much, but I don’t smoke and I eat healthily, so I don’t think its too much of an issue.

So! There it is. Feel free to copy and paste and do this yourself, it filled in an hour of boredom where I’d normally be sitting on my bed with a sock.